“Things I Want That Are Crazy”

 

I want to be an object:

A muse with striking posture

And a perfect profile.

Perched high beyond responsibility

Or implied ‘no.’

 

And everyone I sense below

Is lit with silver envy

Which is far more permeating than green, you know.

 

I think it’s something in the vibrations.

 

I want to be a novelty item:

One you discuss with your acquaintances

Over sugarless black tea

Bright, shiny, almost scintillating.

 

And when the gentleman to your left asks

What does that word mean?

You answer

Exhilarating -

But I don’t even know her middle name.

 

I think it starts with a ‘T.’

 

I want to be a rumination:

A back and forth

A thank you, not now

But how to break the loop

On a weathered, well-worn pathway

I’ve been traversing since I learned to think . . .

 

. . . About the few pauses in between.

A respite that only comes from being vertical

And is nowhere to be found before falling asleep.

A brain executes thoughts like a heart executes beats.

 

I think there’s something to be said for perfunctory functionality.

 

I want to be a source of mania:

No sleeping, no eating, no whistling.

When every crevice has been dusted

And every freckle inspected-

Sitting down only for the pleasure

Of standing up again.

 

Pacing the disinfected floors

In a body that’s oftentimes yours

But could belong to someone else at any second

And it better measure up as far

As your curiosity set the bar.

 

I think being told to slow down is pejorative.

 

I want to be calculated vulnerability:

Wisps of premeditated humanity

Well-versed and carefully rehearsed

And absolutely safe.

 

Where they think that the only thing you do

In the bathroom is wash your hands.

 

I think I recognize this soap.

 

I want to be a best-kept secret:

Freed from the prying eye of perception,

Even if you embarrass me in public.

 

Without you as a reflection on me

Nor I on you

It will be a seamless transition to

Maintaining control

Winning the game

And showing off my new haircut

When I turn my back on the credit that was given

Before it was due.

 

I think I want things that are crazy.